May 2012
6 posts
May 30th
4 tags
May 25th
May 25th
5 notes
3 tags
May 18th
4 tags
May 4th
1 note
Say It! I'm Cruel to Unsuspecting Fiftysomething...
Me: (silent / minding my own business)
Guy: You look like you don't do anything for a living.
Me: I do. I work a lot. (looking down again as if I never heard him)
Guy: Are you starting college soon?
Me: I graduated ages ago.
Guy: So you don't work, right?
Me: I do. I have-
Gy: No, you don't.
Me: You're right. I'm a socialite.
Guy: What's that?
Me: I go to parties wearing really expensive dresses and get photographed.
Sometimes, Fashion shows. I shop all day until my eyes cloud with dollar
signs.
Guy: Oh. (walks away)
Me: (inner thought) Yes! I love messing with losers!
May 2nd
April 2012
17 posts
4 tags
Apr 30th
4 tags
Apr 29th
1 note
8 tags
Apr 29th
1 note
7 tags
Apr 29th
3 tags
Apr 29th
3 tags
Apr 23rd
4 tags
Apr 23rd
Apr 21st
Apr 21st
3 tags
Apr 19th
5 tags
Apr 15th
4 tags
Apr 11th
1 note
3 tags
Apr 11th
6 tags
Apr 3rd
2 notes
5 tags
Apr 3rd
1 note
5 tags
Apr 3rd
1 note
10 tags
Lindsay Lohan Looks "Different"
I was horrified when I logged onto Hollywood Life for the first time in a year. I really dislike gossip blogs for their mean spirited remarks. Then, I suddenly saw Lindsay Lohan. Something seemed different about her. I thought hard; yes, words actually entered my head in a thought process. It seemed like her hair color. No, that wasn’t it. Lindsay Lohan has gone brunette plenty of times to...
Apr 3rd
March 2012
7 posts
3 tags
Mar 26th
8 tags
ListenMy Cher impersonation will rock your socks. ;)...
Mar 19th
Mar 19th
3 tags
Mar 11th
1 note
8 tags
“When someone calls me ugly, I get super sad. I give them a hug. Life must be so...”
– LukasVinylmasterLacko
Mar 8th
1 note
5 tags
Mar 3rd
4 tags
Mar 1st
1 note
February 2012
15 posts
8 tags
LukasVinylmasterLacko vs Restaurant
Waitress: Would you like a table?
Lukas: No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor, bitch. Carpet for five, please.
Me: (learning of his inner dialogue response) Sarcasm killed the cat. I like it.
Feb 29th
5 tags
Feb 29th
4 tags
Feb 23rd
1 note
5 tags
Feb 22nd
1 note
4 tags
Feb 20th
2 notes
6 tags
Feb 18th
1 note
6 tags
“Today, at junior high, one of the kids made one of the shades roll up, and I...”
– A substitute teacher friend in Illinois, recalling the day 10 years ago, about this time of the year, when my classmate and I damaged the school classroom blinds by fighting over the amount of sunshine allowed in our English room. Before the teacher went inside, we did this. She walked in, horrified...
Feb 17th
13 tags
Feb 14th
3 notes
22 tags
My iPad Case Search Is Scary
“Hot mess” was invented so salespeople talking behind my back after this weekend finally have an adjective for describing my obnoxiousness. I mean, I am supposed to hear back from a brand buyer if they’d consider doing a custom forest green iPad case tomorrow. I feel really obnoxious and ate a bag of peanuts to make myself feel less so. In one of my rare public appearances this...
Feb 13th
Feb 13th
Feb 12th
Feb 9th
Feb 8th
3 tags
Feb 8th
8 tags
In my life, I’ve had really creepy dreams. Not many, though a handful. This one ranks up there. There’s this big condo type building, but huge, massive, where dead people live in the afterlife. A lot of the people I saw were previously famous way back when but now dead. I can’t remember if all were since I didn’t know everyone. I sort of feel that way looking in magazines...
Feb 3rd
1 note
January 2012
18 posts
6 tags
Jan 28th
5 tags
Jan 27th
19 tags
Jan 27th
17 notes
9 tags
Jan 25th
6 notes
5 tags
Jan 23rd
3 notes